Working the Steps w/ the 12 & 12 "Trusting God "
WORKING THE STEPS USING THE 12 & 12
"Trusting God"
Kurt C.
(Steps. I., 2., & 3 -24_. questions.)
Step 1 (8 questions):
Pg. 21 Q 1) Who cares to admit complete defeat?
A. Practically no one, of course. Every natural instinct cry out against the idea of personal-powerlessness. It is truly awful to admit that, glass in hand, we have warped our minds into such an obsession for destructive drinking that only an act of Providence can remove it from us.
Pg. 23 Q.2)
Since Step 1 requires an admission that our lives have become unmanageable, how could people such as these take Step?
A. It was obviously necessary to raise the bottom the rest of us had hit to the point where it would hit them. By going back in our own drinking histories, we could show that years before we realized it, we were out of control, that our drinking even then was no mere habit, that it was indeed the beginning of a fatal progression.
Pg24 Q. 3) Why don't you try some more controlled drinking, bearing in mind mea11while what we have told you about alcoholism?"
A. This attitude brought immediate and. practical results. It was then discovered that when one alcoholic had planted in the mind of another the true nature of his malady, that person could never be the same again. Following every spree, he would say
to himself, "Maybe those A.A.'s were right.
Welty all tilts insistence that every A.A. must hit bottom first?
I. The answer is that few people will sincerely try to-practice, the A.A. program unless
they have hit bottom. For practicing A.A.'s remaining eleven Steps means the adoption of attitudes and actions that almost no alcoholic who is still drinking can dream of taking.
Who wishes to be rigorously ho11est and tolerant?
Who wants to confess his faults s to another and make restitution for harm done?
Q. 7) Who cares anything about a Higher Power, let alone meditation and prayer?
Q.8) Who wants to sacrifice time and energy in trying to carry A.A.'s message to the
Next sufferer?
A. No, the average alcoholic; self-centered-in the extreme, doesn't
care for this prospect--unless he has to do these things in order to stay alive himself.
Step 2 (6 questions):
Q. 9) Pg. 25)
Some of us won't believe in God, others can't, and still others who
do believe that God exists have 110 faith whatever He will perform this miracle. Yes, you've got us over the barrel, all right-but where do we go from here?"
A. Let's look first at the case of the one who says he won't believe. He is in a state of mind which can be described only as savage. His whole philosophy of life, in which he so gloried, is threatened. It's bad enough, he thinks, to admit alcohol has him down for keeps. But now, still smarting from that admission, he is faced with something really impossible. How he does cherish the thought that man, risen so majestically
from a single cell in the primordial ooze, is the spearhead of evolution and therefore the only god that his universe knows!
Q.10) Pg. 25.)
Must he renounce all this to save himself?
A.) At this juncture, his A.A, sponsor usually laughs. This, the newcomer thinks, is just about the last straw. This is the beginning of the end. And so it is:
the beginning of the end of his old life, and the beginning of his emergence into a new one. His sponsor probably says, "Take it easy. The hoop you have to jump through is a lot wider than you think. At least I've found it so. So did a friend of mine who was a one-time vice-president of the American Atheist Society, but he got through with room to spare."
Q. I1) Pg. 26)
But just how, in these circumstances, does fellow 'take it easy'?
A.) I think I can tell you exactly how to relax. You won't have to work at it very hard, either. Listen, if you will, to these three statements. First, Alcoholics Anonymous
does not demand that you believe anything. All of its Twelve Steps are but suggestions. Second, to get sober and to stay sober, you don't have to swallow
all of Step Two right now. Third, all you really need is a truly open mind. Just resign from the debating society and quit bothering yourself with such deep question} as whether it was the hen or the egg that came first. Again, I say, all you need is
the open mind."
Pg 28)
Can A.A, experience tell all these they may still find a faith that works?
Pg. 29)
Why should we be bothered wit/, theological abstractions and religious duties, or with the state of our souls here or hereafter?
A.) The here and now was good enough for us. The will to win would carry us through. But then alcohol began to have its way with us. Finally, when all our score cards read 'zero,' and we saw that one more strike would put us out of the game forever, we had to look for our lost faith. It was in A.A, that we rediscovered it. And so can you."
Pg. 32)
What, then, ca11 be the matter?
A.) To clergymen, doctors, friends, and families, the alcoholic who means well and tries hard is a heartbreaking riddle. To most A.A.'s, he is not. There are too
many of us who have been just like him, and have found the riddle's answer.
This answer has to do with the quality of faith rather than its quantity.
Step 3 (10 questions):
Q. 15) Pg. 34)
Therefore, our problem now becomes just how and by
what specific means shall we be able to let Him in?
A.) Step Three represents our first attempt to do this. In fact, the effectiveness of the whole A.A. program will rest upon how well and earnestly we have tried to come to "a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him."
Q.16) Pg. 35)
No matter how much one wishes to try, exactly how can he turn his
own will and his own life over to the care of whatever God he thinks there is? A.) Fortunately, we who have tried it, and with equal misgivings, can testify that anyone, anyone at all, can begin to do it. We can further add that a beginning, even the smallest, is all that is needed. Once we have placed the key of willingness in the lock and have the door ever so slightly open, we find that
we can always open it some more. Though self-will may slam it shut again, as it frequently does, it will always respond the moment we again pick up the key of willingness.
Every man and woman who has joined A.A. and
intends to stick has, without realizing it, made a beginning on Step Three.
Q. 17) Pg 35) Isn't it true that in all matters touching upon alcohol, each of them has decided to turn his or her life over to the care, protectio11, and guidance of
Alcoholics Anonymous?
A.) Already a willingness has been achieved to cast out one's
own will and one's own ideas about the alcohol problem in favor of those suggested by A.A. Any willing newcomer feels sure A.A. is the only safe harbor for the foundering vessel he has become.
Pg. 35)
Now if this is not turning one's will
and life over to a 11ewfound Providence, then what is it?
Pg .36)
If I keep on tuning my life and my will over to the care of Something or Somebody else, what will become of me?
A.) I'll look like the hole in the doughnut." This, of course, is the process by which instinct and logic always seek to bolster egotism, and so frustrate spiritual development.
The trouble is that this kind of thinking takes no real account of the facts. And the facts seem to be these: The more we become willing to depend upon a Higher Power, the more independent we actually are. Therefore dependence, as A.A. practices it, is really a means of gaining true independence of the spirit.
Pg. 37)
This brave philosophy, wherein each man plays God, sounds
good ill the speaking, but it still has to meet the acid test: how well does it actually work?
A.) One good look in the mirror ought to be answer enough for any
alcoholic. Should his own image in the mirror be too awful to contemplate (and it usually is), he might first take a look at the results normal people are getting from
self-sufficiency. Everywhere he sees people filled with anger and fear, society breaking up into warring fragments. Each fragment says to the others, "We are right and you are wrong." Every such pressure group, if it is strong enough, self-righteously imposes its will upon the rest. And everywhere the same thing is being done on an individual basis. The sum of all this mighty effort is less peace and less brotherhood than before. The philosophy of self-sufficiency is not paying off. Plainly enough, it is a bone-crushing juggernaut whose final achievement is ruin.
When World War II broke out, this spiritual principle had its first major test. AA. 's entered the services and were scattered all over the world.
Pg. 38)
Would they be able to take discipline, stand up under fire, a11d endure the monotony and misery of war?
Q.21) Pg. 38)
Would the kind of dependence they had learned in A.A. carry them through?
A.) Well, it did. They had even fewer alcoholic lapses or emotional
binges than A.A.'s safe at home did
Q. 23) Pg. 39)
Soltow, exactly, can the willing person continue to turn his will and his life
over to the Higher Power?
A.) He made a beginning, we have seen, when he commenced to rely upon A.A. for the solution of his alcohol problem.
Q. 40) Pg. 39)
And how shall he ever straighten out that awful jam that cost him the affection of his
Family and separated him from them?
A.) His lone courage and unaided will cannot do it. Surely, he must now depend upon Somebody or Something else.
WORKING THE STEPS USING THE
12 & 12
"Cleaning House"
(Steps 4-9-46 questions) Step 4 (31 questions)
Step4
(Pg 45) If we were pretty nice people all along, except for our drinking, what need is there for a moral inventory now that we are sober?
Because of self-righteousness or grandiosity,
guilt and self-loathing are excuses we suffer from These severe reactions cause an offence to support the belief our good characters will return once we quit drinking.
Blaming others for our troubles. Justified indignations. Just don't drink is our pos1t1on.
2) (Pg 50)
3)
(A)
Just how do I go about this?
How do I take moral inventory of myself?
We become willing to search for our own defects,
we look with our best judgment of what's right and wrong making a rough survey of his instincts concerning
sex, security and society. We consider these questions to begin
When, and how, and in what instances did my selfish pursuit of the sex relation damage other people and me?
What people were hurt and how badly?
Did I spoil my marriage and injure my children?
Did I jeopardize my standing in the community?
Just how did I react to these situations at the time?
Did I burn with a guilt that nothing could extinguish?
Did I insist that I was the pursued and not the pursuer and thus absolve myself?
How did I react to frustration in sexual matters?
(Pg 51) When denied, did I take it out on other people?
Did I become vengeful or depressed?
If there was rejection or coldness at home,
did I use this as a reason for promiscuity?
In addition to my sex problems,
what character defects contributed to my financial insecurity?
Did fear and inferiority about my fitness for my job destroy my confidence and fill me with conflict?
Did I try to cover up those feelings of inadequacy
by bluffing, cheating, lying or evading responsibility?
Did I gripe that others failed to recognize my truly exceptional abilities?
Did I overvalue myself and play the big shot?
Did I have such unprincipled ambition that
I double crossed and undercut my associates?
Was I extravagant?
Did I recklessly borrow money,
caring little whether it was repaid or not?
Was I a pinchpenny, refusing to support my family properly?
Did I cut comers financially?
What about the quick money deals, the stock market and the races? 26)(P. 52) Looking at both past and present,
what sex situations have caused me anxiety, bitterness, frustration, or depression?
Appraising each situation fairly can I see where I have been at fault?
Did these perplexities beset me because of selfishness, or unreasonable demands?
If my disturbance was seemingly caused by the behavior of others, why do I lack the ability to accept conditions I cannot change?
And if the actions of others are part of the cause, what can I do about that?
If I am unable to change the present state of affairs, am I willing to take the measures necessary
to shape my life conditions as they are?
Step 5 (6 questions)
Step 5
Pg 57. What are we likely to receive from step 5?
For one thing, we shall be rid of that terrible sense of isolation. Being tortured by loneliness.
Begin to lose the feeling we do not belong.
Pg 59. If all our lives we had more or less fooled ourselves,
how could we now be sure we weren't still self-deceived?
How could we now be sure that we had made a true catalog of
how. could we now be sure we weren't still self-deceived?
How could we now be sure that we had made a true catalog of our defects and had really admitted them, even to ourselves.
After these questions are answered
it will still be evident that our solitary self-appraisal is not enough.
We will need to have outside help if we were to know and admit the truth about ourselves-
the help of God and another human being.
Why can't God as we understand Him tell us where we are astray?
Why don't we make our admissions to Him directly?
Why do we need to bring anyone else into this.
When we are honest with another person
it confirms we have been honest with ourselves and God. Two difficulties we encounter is being safe that God knows all about us saves embarrassment and rationalization and wishful thinking can distort us.
Going it alone in spiritual matters is dangerous.
Step 6 (10 questions)
Step 6.
(pg. 64) Having been granted a perfect release from alcoholism, why then shouldn't we be able to achieve by the same
means a perfect release from every other difficulty or defect?
(A) This is a riddle of our existence, the full answer may be only
in the mind of God. For nature and God alike abhor suicide.
(Pg 65) How many of us have this degree of readiness?
In an absolute sense practically, nobody has it. The best we can do is try to have it.
No matter how far we have progressed
desires will always be found which oppose the grace of God. (Pg 66) We like to congratulate ourselves by escaping the
extremes of pride greed, anger, lust, gluttony, envy, sloth
(A)
(A)
Yet, can we?
After all, hasn't it been self-interest pure
and simple that has enabled most of us to escape? Not much spiritual effort is involved in avoiding excesses which will bring us punishment anyways. When we face up to the less violent aspects of these very same defects, then where do we stand? We exult is some of these...
Who, for example, doesn't like to feel a little
superior to the next fellow, or even quite a lot superior?
Isn't it true we like to let greed masquerade as ambition? (44) (Pg 67) But how many men and women speak love with their lips,
and believe what they say, so they can hide lust
with absolute perfection. The remaining steps state perfect ideals. We can measure by progress.
The only question will be "are we ready"?
It will seldom matter how haltingly we walk.
Step 7 (1 questions)
(47) Pg.73
(A)
Step 8
How can we possibly summon the resolution and the willingness to get rid of such overwhelming compulsions and desires?
We must try with a will or else fall by the wayside.
(7 questions)
(Pg 78) If we are now about to ask forgiveness for ourselves,
why shouldn't we start out by forgiving them, one and all?
It had been embarrassing enough when in confidence we had admitted these things to God and another human being.
But to actually visit these people overwhelmed us when we remembered in poor favor, we stood with them or they were unawares we even hurt them.
(49) (Pg 79) Why, we cried, shouldn't bygones be bygones?
Why do we have to think of these people at all?
Fear and pride conspire to hinder making our list.
What real harm, therefore, had we done?
Purposeful forgetting with casual apologies eliminates discovery of motives and actions.
(52) (Pg 80) What kinds of harm do people do one another, anyways?
To define the word harm in a practical way,
we might call it the result of instincts in collision which cause physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual damage to people.
(53) (Pg 81) What happens when we try to dominate the whole family, either by a rule of iron or by a constant outpouring of minute-by-minute directions for just how
their lives should be lived from hour to hour?
What happens when we wallow in depression,
self-pity oozing from every pore, and inflict that upon those about us?
Personalities traits cause excessive harms These kinds of harm done make living with us
as practicing alcoholics difficult and unbearable.
Step 9 (4 questions)
Step 9
(54) (Pg 86) Do we instantly confess our irregularities to the firm,
in the practical certainty that we will be fired and become unemployable?
(A)
Are we going to be so rigidly righteous about making amends that we don't care what happens to the family and home?
Do we first consult those who are to be gravely affected? Do we lay the matter before our sponsor or spiritual advisor,
earnestly asking God's help and guidance--meanwhile resolving
to do the right thing when it becomes clear, cost what it may?
Of course, there is no pat answer which can fit all such dilemmas. but all of them do require a complete willingness to make amends as far and as fast as may be possible in a giving set of conditions. Above all we should try to be absolutely sure that we are not delaying because we are afraid. For the readiness to take the full consequences of our past acts and take responsibility for the well-being of others at the same time, is the very spirit of step nine.
WORKING THE STEPS USING THE 12 & 12
"Helping Others''
(Steps IO, 11 & 12 - 42 questions) Step 10 (8 questions):
I. (p. 88) Then comes the acid test: can we stay sober, keep in emotional balance, and live to good purpose under all conditions?
A: A continuous look at our assets and liabilities, and a real desire to learn and grow by these means, are necessities for us. We alcoholics have learned this the hard way. More experienced people, of course, in all time and places have practiced unsparing self-survey and criticism. For the wise have always known that no one can make much of his life until self-searching becomes a regular habit, until he is able to admit and accept what he finds, and until he patiently and persistently tries to correct what is wrong. (p. 88)
(p. 89) Aren these practices joy-killers as well as time-consumers’? ·
(p. 89} Must A.A.'s. ·Spend most of their waking hours drearily rehashing their sins of omission or
commission?
A (#2-3): Well, hardly. The emphasis on inventory is heavy only because a great many of us have never really acquired the practice of accurate self-appraisal. Once this healthy practice has become grooved, it will be so interesting and profitable that the time it takes won't be missed. For these minutes and sometimes hours spent in self-examination are bound to make all the other hours of our day better and happier. And at length our inventories become a regular part of everyday living, rather than something unusual or set apart. (pp. 89-90)
4·. (p. 90} But are there no exceptions to this rule? It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are· disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. If somebody-hurt us and we are, we· are in the wrong also.)-
(p. 90) t about ''justifiable" anger?
(p. 90) If somebody cheats us., aren't we entitled to be mad?
(p. 90) Can't we be properly angry with self-righteous folk?
A (#4-7): For us of A.A. these are dangerous exceptions. We have found that justified anger ought to be left to those better qualified to handle it ... These emotional "'dry benders" often led straight to the bottle. Other kinds of disturbances-jealousy, envy, self-pity, or hurt pride-<lid the same thing. (p. 90)
(p. 93) And we can often ask ourselves, am r doing to others as r would have them do to me-today?""
A: Having so considered our day, not omitting to take note of things well done, and having searched our hearts with neither fear nor favor, we can truly thank God for the blessings we have received and sleep in good conscience. (p. 95)
Step 11 (11 questions):
(p. 97) What about all the accidents, sickness, cruelty, and injustice in the world?
(p. 97) What about all those unhappy lives which were the direct result of unfortunate birth and
uncontrollable circumstances?
A (#1-2): We liked A.A. all right, and were quick to say that it had done miracles. But we recoiled from meditation and prayer as obstinately as the scientist who refused to perform a certain experiment lest it prove his pet theory wrong. Of course, we finally did experiment, and when unexpected results followed, we felt different; in fact, we knew different; and so, we were sold on meditation and prayer. And that, we have found, can happen to anybody who tries. It has been well said that "almost the only scoffers at prayer are those who never tried it enough." (p. 97)
(p-. 9} How then shall we meditate?
A: The actual experience of meditation and prayer across the centuries is, of course, immense. The world's libraries and places of worship are a treasure trove for all seekers. It is hoped that every A.A. who has a religious connection which emphasizes meditation will return to the practice of that devotion as never before. (p. 98)
(pp. 98 99) But what about the rest of us who, less fortunate, don't even know how to begin?
A: Well, we might start like this. First, let's look at a really good prayer. We won't have far to seek; the great men and women of all religions have left us a wonderful supply. Here let us consider one that is a classic [the St. Francis prayer]. (p. 99)
(p. 100) Yes, we reveled in that sort of thinking, didn't we? · ("that sort of thinking" is" ... how much store
we used1o set by imagination as it tried create reality out of bottles. '}
(p. 100} And though sober nowadays, don't we often try to do much 1he same thing? (-"much 1he same
thing" is "... how much store we used to set by imagination as it tried to create reality out of bottles.")
A (#5-6): Perhaps our trouble was not that we used our imagination. Perhaps the real trouble was our almost total inability to point imagination toward the right objectives. There's nothing the matter with constructive imagination; all sound achievement rests upon it. After all, no man can build a house until he first envisions a plan for it. Well, meditation is like that. too; it helps to envision our spiritual objective before we try to move toward it. (p. 100)
7 (p. 101) What did he (St. Francis} mean by "self-forgetting," and how did he propose to accomplish that? A: He thought it better to give comfort than to receive it; better to understand than to be understood; better to forgive than to be forgiven. (p. 101)
(p. 102) Now, what of prayer?
A: Prayer is the raising of the heart and mind to God-and in this sense it includes meditation. (p. 102)
(p. 102) How may we go about it (prayer)?"
p. 102). How does it (prayer) fit in with meditation? ·
A (#9-10): Prayer, as commonly understood, is a petition to God. Having opened our channel as best we can, we try to ask for those right things of which we and others are in the greatest need. And we think that the whole range of our needs is well defined by that part of Step Eleven which says: "... knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out." A request for these fits in any part of our day. (p. 102)
l l (p. 103} Of course, it is reasonable and understandable that the question is often asked: 'Why can't we take a specific and troubling dilemma straight to God and in prayer secure from Him sure and definite answers to our requests?
A: This can be done, but it has hazards. We have seen A.A.'s ask with much earnestness and faith for God's explicit guidance on matters ranging all the way from a shattering domestic or financial crisis to correcting a minor personal fault. like tardiness. Quite often, however. the thoughts that seem to come from God are not
answers at all. They prove to be well-intentioned unconscious rationalizations. The A.A., or indeed any man, who tries to run his life rigidly by this kind of prayer, by this self-serving demand of God for replies, is a particularly disconcerting individual. To any questioning or criticism of his actions he instantly proffers his reliance upon prayer for guidance in all matters great or small. He may have forgotten the possibility that his own wishful thinking and the human tendency to rationalize have distorted his so-called guidance. With the best of intentions, he tends to force his own will into all sorts of situations and problems with the comfortable assurance that he is acting under God's specific direction. Under such an illusion, he can of course create great havoc without in the least intending it. (pp. 103-104)
Step 12_ (23 questions):
l. (p. 106) "What.do you mean when you talk about. A 'spiritual awakening?" they ask.
A: When a man or a woman has a spiritual awakening, the most important meaning of it is that he has now become able to do, feel, and believe that which he could not do before on his unaided strength and resources alone. He has been granted a gift which amounts to a new state of consciousness and being. He has been set on a path which tells him he is really going somewhere, that life is not a dead end, not something to be endured or mastered. In a very real sense he has been transformed, because he has laid hold of a source of strength which. in one way or another. he had hitherto denied himself. He finds himself in possession of a degree of honesty tolerance, unselfishness, peace of mind, and love of which he had thought himself quite incapable. What he has received is a free gift. and yet usually, at least in some small part, he has made himself ready to receive it.
A.A.'s manner of making ready to receive this gift lies in the practice of the Twelve Steps of our program. (pp. 106-107)
(p. 109) Now, what about the rest of the Twelfth. -Step?
A: The wonderful energy it releases and the eager action by which it carries our message to the next suffering alcoholic and which finally translates the Twelve Steps into action on all our affairs is the payoff, the magnificent reality, of Alcoholics Anonymous. (p. 109)
(p. III) Now comes the biggest question yet. What about the practice of these principles in a/tour affairs?
(p. 111) Can we love the whole pattern of living as eagerly as we do the small segment of it, we discover when we try to help other alcoholics achieve sobriety? ·
(pp. 111-112) Can we bring the same spirit of love and tolerance into our sometimes-deranged family lives
that we bring to our AA group?
(p. 112) Can we have the same kind of confidence and faith in these people who have been infected and sometimes crippled by our own illness that we have in our sponsors?
(p. 1-12)- Can-we actually carry the A.A. spirit into-om daily work?
(p. 112) Can we meet our newly recognized responsibilities to the world at large?
(p. 112) And can we bring new purpose and devotion to the religion of our choice?
(p. 112) Can we find a new joy of living in trying to do something about all these things?
(p. 112) Furthermore, how shall we come to terms with seeming failure or success?
(p. 112) Can we now accept and adjust to either without despair-or pride?
(p. 112) Can we accept poverty, sickness, loneliness, and bereavement with courage and serenity?
(p. 112) Can we steadfastly content ourselves with the humbler, yet sometimes more durable, satisfactions when the brighter, more glittering achievements are denied us.
A (#3-14): The A.A. answer to these questions about living is "Yes, all of these things are possible." We know this because we see monotony, pain, and even calamity turned to good use by those who keep on trying to practice A.A.'s Twelve Steps. And if these are facts of life for the many alcoholics who have recovered in A.A.• they can become the facts of life for many more. (p. 112)
IS. (p. II3) Then perhaps fire, as it has a way of’ doing, suddenly hands us a great big lump we can't begin to
swallow, let alone digest... What then?
(p. 113) Have we alcoholics in A.A. got, or can we get, the resources to meet these calamities which come to so many?
(p. l-l-3)- Can-we now., with-the help-of God-as-we understand-Him, handle them-as- well- -and-as- bravely as
our nonalcoholic friends often do?
(p. 113) Can we transform these calamities into assets, sources of growth and comfort to ourselves and those about us?
A (#15-18): Well, we surely have a chance if we switch from "two-stepping" to "twelve-stepping," if we are
willing to receive that grace of God which can sustain and strengthen us in any catastrophe. (p. 113)
(p. 117) So our question will be this: How, by ignorance, compulsion, and self-will, do we misuse this gift for our own destruction?
A: When alcoholism strikes, very unnatural situations may develop which work against marriage partnership and compatible union... As matters get worse, the husband becomes a sick and irresponsible child who needs to be looked after and extricated from endless scrapes and impasses. Very gradually, and usually without any realization of the fact, the wife is forced to become the mother of an erring boy Obviously, not much
partnership can exist under these conditions A pattern is thereby established which may take a lot of undoing
later on. Nevertheless, under the influence of A.A.'s Twelve Steps, these situations are often set right. (pp. 117- 118)
20 (p·.119)- A.A. has many single alcoholics who wish to marry and are in a position to-do so. Some marry
fellow A.A.'s. How do they come-out"?
A: On the whole these marriages are very good ones. Their common suffering as drinkers, their common interest in A.A. and spiritual things, often enhance such unions. It is only where "boy meets girl on A.A. campus," and love follows at first sight, that difficulties may develop. The prospective partners need to be solid A.A.'s and long enough acquainted to know that their compatibility at spiritual, mental, and emotional levels is a fact and not wishful thinking. They need to be sure that no deep-lying emotional handicap in either will be likely to rise up under later pressures to cripple them with clear understanding and right, grown-up attitudes,
very happy results do follow. (p. 119)
(p; 120) And-what-can-be-said-of many A.A. members who; for a variety of reasons, cannot-have-a-family
1ife1
A: At first many of these feel lonely, hurt, and left out as they witness so much domestic happiness about them.
(p. 120)
(p. 120) If they cannot have this kind of happiness, can A.A. offer them satisfactions of similar worth and durability?
A: Yes-whenever they try hard to seek them out. Surrounded by so many A.A. friends, these so-called loners tell us they no longer feel alone. In partnership with others-women and men-they can devote themselves to any number of ideas, people, and constructive projects. Free of marital responsibilities, they can participate in enterprises which would be denied to family men and women. We daily see members render prodigies of service, and receive great joys in return. (p. 120)
(p. 121) How could we ever take care of those awful debts, possess a decent home, educate the kids, and set something by for old age?
A: We could cheerfully perform humble labor without worrying about tomorrow. If our circumstances happened to be good, we no longer dreaded a change for the worse, for we had learned that these troubles could be turned into great values. It did not matter too much what our material condition was, but it did matter what our spiritual condition was. Money gradually became our servant and not our master. It became a means of exchanging love and service with those about us. When, with God's help, we calmly accepted our lot, then we found we could live at peace with ourselves and show others who suffered the same fears that they could get over them, too. We found that freedom from fear was more important than freedom from want. (pp. 121-122)
The Promises.
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
That feeling uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away.
Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us--sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
How to find the "Book Within the Book."
Searching through Steps 10, 11, and 12 in the "12 &12"for any sentence that "God";" Higher Power: capitol H"; "Lord" or "Creator" appears in
Highlight each of those Sentences with a yellow highlighter. What then appears are yellow-like "bricks"
After highlighting we then go back and read along the yellow highlighted path from sentence to sentence Revealing the Yellow Brick Road. This is concealed as a Book Within the Book, or a Golden Book of Revelation resulting, simply, as a Gift of LOVE.
Step 10 has 4 sentences.
Step 11 has 36 sentences
Step 12 has 24 sentences.
There are 124 questions to consider.
Quick summery.
Step 1 has 8 questions.
Step 2 has 6 questions.
Step 3 has 10 questions.
questions about Trusting God.
Step 4 has 31 questions. To be answered by the individual Step 5 has 6 questions.
Step 6 has 10 questions
Step 7 has 1 question
Step 8 has 7 questions.
Step 9 has 4 questions.
28 questions about Cleaning House.
31 of which are not answered in the book, but by the individual
Step 10 has 8 questions.
Step 11 has 11 questions.
Step 12 has 22 questions.
41 questions about Helping others.
The Plan.
Step
Total pages per day
Total minutes per day
10-day Total in minutes
10-day TotalHours
Step 1 | 4 pages | 12 minutes | X 10 days | 120 minutes | 2 hours |
Step 2 | 9 pages | 27 minutes | X 10 days | 270 minutes | 41/2 hrs. |
step 3 | 8 pages | 25 minutes | X 10 days | 250 minutes | 41/4 hrs. |
step4 | 13 pages | 39 minutes | X 10 days | 390 minutes | 6 1/2 hrs. |
step 5 | 8 pages | 25 minutes | X 10 days | 250 minutes | 41/4 hrs. |
210 | |||||
step6 | 7 pages | 21 minutes | X 10 days | minutes | 31/2 hrs. |
step 7 | 7 pages | 21 minutes | X 10 days | 210 minutes | 3 1/2 hrs. |
180 | |||||
step 8 | 6 pages | 18 minutes | X 10 days | minutes | 3 hrs. |
step 9 | 5 pages | 15 minutes | X 10 days | 150 minutes | 2 1/2 hrs. |
step 10 | 8 pages | 24 minutes | X 10 days | 240 minutes | 4 hrs. |
step 11 | 10 pages | 30 minutes | X 10 days | 300 minutes | 5 hrs. |
step 12 | 20 pages | 60 minutes | X 10 days | 600 minutes | 10 hrs. |
105 pages | 120 days | 53 hours |
This graph indicates that we have 105 pages to read and we have 53 hours to read them over a 120-day period.
Let me remind you this effort is encouraged to be the action required to begin building a design for
living to walk in victory over the age-old baffling malady ALCHOLISM.
The EASIER SOFTER WAY!
We may also choose to listen to CDs on our computer or car to administer this "prescription" for recovery. Or visit the Silkworth.net web site and use your phones, Kindles and other devices.
Again, it is the medicine we need to stay alive. As always, a Meeting is a good place to be.
"Listening" Time Chart is as follows.
Twelve and Twelve Discs
Min Daily: 10 Day Total:
Step l 8.00 80 1 Hr. 20 Min
1
Online Google: 12 &12
Online Audio readings
1 7 min 13 seconds
Step 2 | 19.20 | 192 | 3 | Hr.12 Min | 2 | 17 | 03 |
Step 3 | 15.12 | 151 | 2 | 31 | 3 | 14 | 42 |
Step 4 | 26.32 | 263 | 4 | 23 | 4 | 24 | 54 |
Step 5 | 15.35 | 153 | 2 | 33 | 5 | 15 | 35 |
Step 6 | 13.35 | 133 | 2 | 13 | 6 | 14 | 15 |
Step 7 | 13.28 | 132 | 2 | 12 | 7 | 14 | 05 |
Step 8 | 10.06 | 100 | 1 | 40 | 8 | 10 | 29 |
Step 9 | 17.36 | 73 | 1 | 13 | 9 | 10 | 22 |
Step 10 | 14.19 | 141 | 2 | 21 | 10 | 15 | 30 |
Step 11 | 19.57 | 195 | 3 | 15 | 11 | 21 | 38 |
Step 12 | 37.28 | 372 | 6 | 12 | 12 | 41 | 31 |
Total 33 Hr.13 min Total 33 Hr. 38 min
Step 4 Inventory Questions.
When, and how, and in what instances did 110' selfish pursuit of the sex relation damage other people and me?
What people were hurt and how badly? Did I spoil my marriage and injure my children?
Did I jeopardize my standing in the community? Just how did I react to these situations at the time?
Did I burn with a guilt that nothing could extinguish?
DID I insist that I was the pursued and not the pursue, and thus absolve myself? How did I react to frustration in sexual matters?
When denied, did I take it out on other people? Did I become vengeful or depressed?
If there was rejection or coldness at home, did I use this as a reason for promiscuity?
Also of importance for most people are the questions they must ask about their behavior respecting financial and emotionally security.
In these areas FEAR, GREED, Possessiveness, and pride have too often done their worst. Surveying his business, or employment record, almost anyone can ask questions like these.
In addition to my sex problems, what character defects contributed to my financial instability?
Did fear and inferiority about my fitness for my job destroy my confidence and fill me with conflict?
Did I try to cover up those feelings of inadequacy by bluffing, cheating, lying or evading responsibility?
Or by griping, that others failed to recognize, my truly, exceptional abilities? Did I overvalue myself and play the big shot?
Did I have such unprincipled ambition that I double crossed and undercut my associates
? Was I extravagant?
Did I recklessly borrow money, caring, little whether it was repaid or not? Was I a pinch penny, refusing to support my family properly?
Did I cut corners financially?
What about the quick money deals, the stock market and the races?
Looking at both past and present, what sex situations have caused me anxiety, bitterness, frustration, or depression?
Appraising each situation fairly, can I see where I have been at fault? Did these perplexities beset me because of selfishness, or unreasonable
demands?
Or, if my disturbance was seemingly caused by the behavior of others, why do I lack the ability to accept conditions I cannot change?
These are the fundamental inquiries that can dis close the source of my dis comfort and indicate whether I may be able to alter my own conduct and so adjust myself serenely, to self-discipline. Suppose that financial insecurities, constantly arouse these same feelings.
I can ask myself to what extent have my own mistakes fed my gnawing anxieties. And if the actions of others are part of the cause, what can I do about that?
If I am unable to change the present state of affairs, am I willing to take the measures necessary to shape my life conditions as they are?
Questions like these. more of which will come to mind easily in each individual case, will turn up root causes.
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